To the wives of Bogan’s.

The Bogan DadI address this, not to the Bogan Dad, but to his wife. The reason being that there’s absolutely no way a Bogan dad would be reading a blog about being a dad, or possibly even reading full stop.

To all of you partners of bogans, my heart goes out to you. It really does. I shake my head when I watch some of the actions of the Bogan dads here in New Zealand (there are Bogan, feral and redneck dads in every country) and it’s so hard not to stop and say something. But, I am built like a ping pong player rather than a rugby player so it’s probably best I refrain from offering the Bogan dads any verbal feedback.

You may be wondering, am I a bogan (if you’re a bloke reading this then you are not!) or is my partner a Bogan? Well here’s some tell-tale signs that your baby-daddy is a numpty.

  1. They sport a mullet
  2. They wear a wifebeater (a vest) by choice
  3. They drive like a maniac
  4. They visit the pub twice or more each week
  5. They scream in front of the kids
  6. They pump bass from their man cave
  7. They think going to Disney on ice is not cool
  8. They refuse to wear a tutu when your daughter asks them to
  9. They tell their son to “harden up and take it in the chin” when they are being bullied
  10. They believe that showing too much affection to their son is a bad thing.

Now I know that some of the top 10 points above are quite hilarious – but a lot of them are deadset serious. Over the past few months I have witnessed some shocking dad acts. The sad part is that the only person losing out, is the child. I watched on in horror as I was sitting at a set of lights in my car whilst a dad was calling his 5/6 year old daughter the C word. Her mother was walking alongside her and cowered away as he berated the daughter. That is simply not right. What an awful place that poor mum and daughter must be in. Clearly the Dad is abusive and it’s not easy for the mum to walk away or seek help. That’s where I think friends and family have to step in. There’s got to be someone who notices that something isn’t quite right in that family. If they do, they need to speak up and seek help. I know that New Zealand  has some amazing support services. If you or someone close wants to get some support – check out these links.

The Women’s Refuge

AreYouOK

Shine

Being a Bogan is not cool. Being a good role model is the only option us Dads have. Now don’t get me wrong, we are all human and we all have tough days, but it’s essential that we remember it’s not about us – it’s all about our kids. I fast forward in my mind to a point in time when Finn is an adult and has his own family. I always ask myself what he might think of me as a Dad and how that might impact his role as a father. I want him to remember a warm, loving dad – and someone whom he could talk to about absolutely anything. My Dad is that person. I am so grateful to him, and to his father before him. It’s only 4 weeks until my Dad comes to visit my family, it’s his first trip to NZ and his first time meeting his little grandson Finn. It will be one special moment.

Here’s to all the awesome, epic non-bogan Dads out there. I salute you.

James

Founder of ModernDad.guru

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